We are home and once the car was unloaded, I opened the box and found a plastic bag packed with white ashes. I don't know what I expected. I guess I didn't think about it. Kasey warned that there may be bone fragments. My legs went weak, my heart skipped several beats and I couldn't catch my breath. All I could was bury my face in Jamie's chest and cry. When will I stop crying? When will it not hurt so much? Why don't I feel better knowing he's not in pain? Am I being selfish?